Why Listening to Your Child Is the Most Underrated Coaching Skill

"Let them speak. You might be surprised what they’re ready to say."

Junior golf parents wear a lot of hats: driver, planner, motivator, nutritionist, coach (sometimes), and emotional support system. It's natural to want to help, to jump in with a tip, a fix, or a story that will steer them in the right direction. But here’s the truth. One of the most powerful things you can do for your child isn’t to coach them. It’s to listen to them.

The Instinct to Fix

When your junior comes off the course frustrated or discouraged, it’s tempting to fill the silence. You might find yourself saying things like, “What happened on 17?” or “You’ve got to slow your tempo.” Maybe even, “You always get quick when you’re under pressure.” Your heart’s in the right place. You’re trying to help. But in that moment, what your child might need most isn’t information. It’s connection.

What Listening Actually Does

When you truly listen, you create space. And in that space, a few important things happen. Your child begins to process the round on their own terms. They feel seen, not scrutinized. They begin to understand their own patterns and reactions. Most importantly, they start to own their experience instead of relying on someone else to explain it.

Listening Is a Skill and It’s Teachable

You don’t have to be a therapist. Just be present. Ask open-ended questions and let them lead the conversation. Try questions like, “How did that feel today?” or “What were you proud of?” or even “What did you learn out there?” Then give them room. Don’t interrupt. Don’t spin it. Don’t reframe it. Let them talk. Let them think. Let them grow.

The Long-Term Payoff

Golf is a game of self-awareness. The better your junior gets at knowing themselves, their tendencies, emotions, and reactions, the more successful they’ll be. If we want to raise independent, resilient athletes, we have to give them the space to develop their own voice. That starts by modeling what it means to listen first.

The Hard Part? Saying Less

We’ve all been there — watching a round fall apart, noticing a swing flaw, wanting to rescue the moment. But sometimes, the most impactful thing a parent can do is nothing at all. Just listen. Nod. Sit beside them without needing to fill the air. When your child feels heard, truly heard, they start trusting themselves. And that trust becomes their most valuable club in the bag.

Your words can guide. But your silence can empower. Let them speak. You might be surprised what they’re ready to say.